I'll Tell You...

You want to know what I want? Really? You asked...
I want you to stop. All of it. I want you to stop the special attention. I want you to stop the concern. I want you to stop the calls and all that it comes with. I want you to stop making me laugh. To stop making me blush. I want you to stop everything that leads me to think, "What if...". There can't be a "What if...". EVER. So, what's the point?


Every call, every smile, every laugh, every look or touch... It needs to stop.


But, at the same time, I don't want it to stop. I like to hear the sound of your voice, even though, at times, it makes me cringe. I like the laughter and the fun. I like the way I feel special, needed, wanted, loved. It's the way that every woman should be treated. That laughter is the medicine that the world needs. The conversations are the necessity in any successful relationship.


I read once, "Impossible relationships. That's my gift, impossible relationships.". That, my friend, is exactly what this is. An impossible relationship. We will hit that dead end. We will end up confused by the turmoil. It's inevitable.


I suppose, what I'm trying to say is that I don't know what I really want. I feel like a confused teenager and it irritates the hell out of me. But, hey... Such is the way of life, I guess.