I remember, growing up on Guam, Lent was always something that we would dread. We couldn't play outside after 6pm because the babuin Kuaresma - Lenten pig - would punish us. We had to tread carefully because we knew that our parents were watching our every move and come Easter Sunday, if we had done anything reproachable, we would become very intimate with the belts our father wore during the week(and we're not talking about those weak, thin, dress belts). Lent was the time of year where we couldn't eat meat on Fridays because that was what we were told.
As I grew older, fasting became a bit deeper than all this. We were told to look at our lives and pick something to 'give up' for forty days. Some people would choose junk food, soda, swearing. Any behaviors or habits that we saw as vices. I, often, would give up swearing as it was something that I would do constantly as an adolescent. The Holy Week regiment grew more strict, expanding from the boundaries of playing outside to the practice of turning the television and the radios off all week unless you happened to be watching or listening to something related to the sacrifice of Jesus.
Then, as a very young adult, the Lenten fast was something that I did out of habit. It was something I grew up participating in and therefore it was tradition. I didn't think twice about it until a little later when I started to rebel against the teaching of the church. I thought that I could show them where to stick it! After all, who really needed to fast if they were as healthy as a horse or not preparing for some medical procedure or in to that alternative detoxing crap? Certainly not me!
In recent years, I have rekindled my faith. I have opened my heart to the tradition of the church. Rather than scoffing at it, I choose to research and better understand the history of my religion. I will not say that my faith is as developed as it can be. But, I can say that, with the help of family and friends, of my parish priest and faith formators, I am starting to grow in the knowledge of what the season really means.
This year, in the forty days leading up to Easter, I plan to read more about the faith I claim to believe in. I am making sacrifices that I feel will help me to grow in my spirituality and in my ability to become a better person. This year, coming out of the Lenten fast, I will understand why I do it and I will be able to explain to those of my friends who think it is insane exactly why I choose to observe the season. I will be able to love them even when they laugh and point at the 'stupidity' in which I choose to partake. Most importantly, I will be able to transmit the tradition to the children I may have in the future.
For now, I'm looking forward to the season and what it means to me. I eagerly await the Easter season when I, along with my brothers and sisters in the faith, will rejoice as the stone is rolled away and the tomb is found empty.
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