Four Years

It's been that long... Four years. Almost to the date. I miss you. I don't know why, but I do. I didn't realize it until last Friday. Just thought I'd let you know. That. Is. All.

Divine Providence

It's been almost two months since I lost my job. But, thanks be to God, I have been far from idle. He blessed me with the opportunity to use my talents. To be part of His mission. He allowed me the occasion to see His providence in my life. I've not had to really worry about money. About what I will do next.

Tonight, we celebrated the 9th Annual Seminary Gala Dinner for the Redemptoris Mater Archdiocesan Missionary Seminary of Guam in honor of the Carmelite Sisters on Guam. It was the climax of months of planning. The product of much sweat, arguments, tears, and sleepless nights.

During the planning stages of the gala, I put many months of judgement behind me and made peace with someone whom I judged for reasons that remain hidden, even to myself. Friendships were tried and have come out tighter than they were going in to this project. There were many doubts, on my part. But, in the end, God proved to be the Master of it all. He has mended wounds and opened my eyes, a little more, to my mission in His Church. I'm still not sure about the whole vocation. But, I know that the most important mission, right now, is to spread the reality of the love of Christ. If I put that first, all else will follow much easier than if I put anything else in the forefront.

The road is bumpy. There are many obstacles in the way to the ultimate goal. But, as the old adage goes, we might as well enjoy the ride! Throw our hands in the air, scream at the top of our lungs, laugh with your heart in it, hold on tight when the tires leave the road and always, always, always remember that it's not in your hands. It never has been in your hands and it never will be in your hands.

Mother Dawn - the Mother Superior of the Carmelite Monastery on Guam - was able to attend the gala dinner, representing the rest of the sisters. When I worked at the chancery, she was one of the people I always looked forward to seeing. She has a contagious personality that is absolutely bright and bubbly. When you see her, you can't help but feel happy. Tonight, I was very happy to have the opportunity to speak with her, if only for a few moments. She is an inspiration to me. To see someone who is absolutely in her vocation as a cloistered nun, gives me hope that one day, I will be able to be happy in whatever position God places me. It was a shame that we couldn't have more of the sisters there to enjoy the evening and to speak with the women in the pre-vocation group, most of whom were in attendance.

It was a beautiful night. One filled with laughter. I was graced with the chance to spend the night with family - both blood and those whom I consider my brothers and sisters. There were so many memories made. From the chocolate factory that made it possible to attend such an event to the ultimate accident that took the cake! (Mishap - one of my sisters fell flat on her face, coming down the stairs!) This night will go down in my history book and for years, I will be able to look back at it and smile, thanking God for such a beautiful gift.

There is so much to say about the night and the months leading up to tonight. But, if I were to put it all here, I would be here all night - or morning. All I can say is that God is truly awesome... I have personally seen Christ crucified and risen from the dead in the past few weeks. I have true testimony to the love that he has for each individual. Seeing the joy in the seminarians, hearing the gratitude in their voices, being able to sit with them and their formators has been truly amazing. There should be no reason for me to doubt His existence and His Providence.

Kristos Voskres! Voistinu voskres!!!