Last night was day two of cantor practice and I must say, it went pretty darned good! We've got the cantors squared away for the vigil celebration and have one more practice on the day of the celebration. Now, if only I could reacquire my flute so that I can transpose and practice!
My journey to Easter has been one marked with much determination - okay, maybe not that much(I tried) - and definitely more than a couple of inner struggles! Up until last week, I didn't not feel ready for Easter. In the past few years, there was always this anticipation building up towards the end of the Lenten season. But, for some reason, this year was different. I entered the season with zeal. With sincerity to become a better person. A better Christian, even. But, as time went on, I grumbled - a lot! - and every time I would fall, I found it harder and harder to pick myself back up to make the trek. My zeal smoldered out in to an almost nonexistent ember. But, as we all know, you add a little oxygen and wood to that ember and it has the potential to build back up in to a raging fire.
You see, all I needed to do was to take a step back. To take a deep breath and relax just a little bit. I needed to take a little break from the hustle and bustle of the office and of the world. To just brush aside the worries that I have... the worries that my kids won't understand anything that we're trying to transmit to them about our faith, the worries that I have friends in need that I can't manage to find time or energy to reach and help. I just needed to let it go and reflect on the season and what is to come.
For a Catholic, such as myself, Easter is the most important time in the Church. It is what our faith is all about. The death of Christ opened up the gates of heaven for humanity. It brought forgiveness of our sins. It shows us that God loves us so much that He was willing to come and dwell with us in human frailty, to the point of death. He could have chosen any form of death. But, He didn't. He chose a painful death. One so horrible that we turn our faces from the image of the crucified Christ.
I was having a conversation with a coworker today about said image. About how some people view the Passion as something to mourn. Some view the death of Christ as something to weep about. But, I do not. I see this season as one of deep reflection. I see the death of Christ as something in which I may rejoice. You see, no matter how unworthy I feel, what matters is that He never sees me as unworthy. Yes, I will pay my respects to the image of Christ in the tomb, to Christ on the cross. But, I will also remember that, on the third day, He rose again. By His death, I too have the chance to rise again and see Him face to face.
So, I enter in to the Triduum with great reverence. On Thursday, I shall pray my heart out that I may enter in to the Easter season with great zeal and love for Christ. On Good Friday, I shall kneel before the cross of the crucified Christ and be thankful for the love that He showed for me and for all humanity. I shall also pray for the courage, patience, love, and humility to, not only bear but, embrace the crosses that He has put in my life.
On Easter Sunday, Christ will lead me out of my dessert and in to a land far more beautiful than I could ever have wished or dreamed. I shall rejoice and - to most of my friends, this is the good part - I shall feast.