One Day At A Time

Today, I woke, ready to conquer the day. I was filled with anticipation. Eager to talk to people I loved, near and far. To spend time with those whom I could. To chit chat the time away... A lazy yet beautiful Sunday. The sun was up for the first time all weekend. The clouds had stolen away for a quick reprieve. All was looking up! This weekend was going to end on a good note!

Quickly, I turned from happiness to regret to anger to hatred and then to apathy. Within one hour of waking, I was ready to curl up and forget the day had even started. You see... Nothing really bad happened... Not to me.

I started to get this feeling that something wasn't right. Low and behold, something is not right. I started to regret trying. Then, I started to get angry at myself for trusting that the day was going to be good. Then, I was angered that I had trusted in Him... Then came the hatred. I hated myself... I hated the world, most of all... I hated someone who I never wanted to hate.

I suppose that all the feelings compounded upon each other led to apathy. I didn't care that things were spinning out of control. I didn't care that I could not stop my world from crashing in on me. I just didn't care about anything.

Thankfully, I have friends to help me through this. You see, I am blessed. I have people in my life who will not hurt me - not on purpose. I have people who genuinely care. Who utter words of affection that I can truly believe in. Most of all, I have a God who has placed these people with me because only He knows how much I need them. How much I need to be reminded that I am not able to do this on my own. How much just a listening ear will help to pull me out of my pit of darkness.

So, I would like to thank you. Not only the people who are there for me... But, the people who help me to realize that when you do hurt me - when you make me feel as if I shouldn't care - that there are people out there who I can lean on. Who will be my light in the darkness. Chris, Ted, Jamie, Dom, Andy, and Law... Even if you didn't know exactly what I was going through as we each went through our day, please know that you all helped me in your own ways. You all made me realize that I can conquer the day.

This weekend did end on a good note.