I've learned a couple of things about myself in the past month. It's amazing what a little time to yourself does! There's been epiphanies, realizations... Laughter, tears, joy, loneliness, elation... It's just been a crazy roller coaster ride. But, this one was different from the ones that I'd experienced in the the past couple of years. This roller coaster ride made me want to buckle in and hold on tight.
While it may be a bumpy ride, I want to stick it out until the end. To feel the wind rushing through my hair. To feel my heart pounding to break free from it's cage within my chest. My hands grow slick with sweat from the fear of what comes next. I release my grip on the rail to wipe them on my jeans and grasp on again, hanging on for dear life. The next turn may hold something gruesome, maybe something beautiful. Who knows? But, I'm staying! I don't want off of this ride!
You see, when life is at it's lowest, it seems that it's the end of a long and bumpy road. But, something always happens to pull you up again. Just like on a roller coaster, the cart rushes down and slows and you think it's over but it only brings you to another steeper climb and an even bigger rush as you round another bend. There's always something bigger and better waiting for us.
Last month, I found myself spending some time with a group of friends for whom I never really made the time. In my quest to find happiness, to run from my reality, I never really thought I'd find it in them. I would always find an excuse to get away, to wallow in my self pity, to drink, have a good time and worry about it tomorrow. But, this group of friends is different. This group shows me my reality. They help me to face it and to carry my cross with joy. They never fail to teach me what it is to be a Christian. To be who I am and not to be comfortable with it but to make it better if I really feel that it needs to be better. They teach me not to be afraid of my faith. To walk in my faith and not worry about the persecution or the ridicule that I face with others.
I've seen that I take certain relationships for granted. Not only with friendships but with family. It's not something that I'm proud of but it is something that I've realized. It's something that I need to work on improving in the coming weeks. I enjoy spending time with my family. They never cease to amaze me with the stories they can dig out from our past. I love them and without each and every one of them, I wouldn't have been formed in to the adult that I am today.
I have grown close to a new friend who has a way of dragging things out of me even when I don't think I want to talk. He takes my problems and helps me to see them as journeys to make life better for myself. This man has a way of speaking spiritually yet still seeming very casual but firm. This friendship has taken me to new territory. It has helped me to view him differently. I see him as a gift from God... Someone who will be there for me both spiritually and emotionally. Someone to confide in without the fear of broken trust. I just pray that I am granted the wisdom and strength to be as vigilant as I need to be.
It has been a great month! June... the beginning of one crazy yet beautiful summer! New beginnings, new hope, new friendships, new goals. July is going to be wonderful! I mean... GEEZ!! It has to be with the World Cup finals in less than a week! VIVA ESPANA!!!
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