1.9.09

Tapping Out

Sometimes, you have to know which battles to fight and which ones you need to tap out for. Personally, I'm tapping out on a particular battle. This one, is not mine to fight. No matter how much I feel like I need to be there to help or to be that one individual that can be depended on, the one in whom you could confide, I realize that there is absolutely nothing I can do besides pray.

For the past eight months, I have been on an emotional rollercoaster. Many times, I have wanted to jump off this ride. To run as far away from the attraction as I could. But, each time I resolved to do such a thing, I found myself drawn back. In the paraphrased words of Shakespeare, like a moth to a flame. No matter how much I knew that I would end up hurt... That this would lead me to a brick wall... That it was not my business, I still felt compelled to be that person on whom you could rely.

But, you know what? I'm tapping out. I'm walking away. I'm pretty sure, much like babies are drawn to electrical outlets, I will turn back. That I won't actually give up. But, for now, I think the best thing to do is to take a step back. To let you make your mistakes. Much like I am allowed to make mine. Just know that, if the time comes when you decide that you need me, I will be here. The faithful friend who believes in you. Until that time comes... May the Lord bless and protect you. You can't do it alone. I can't help. But, HE can.

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