Did I Miss It?

Yesterday, I had a very brief conversation with Fr. Jason Granado. He is a newly ordained priest here on Guam who also happens to be one of my catechists. He was recently assigned as pastor or Our Lady of Mt. Carmel Church in Agat and is getting settled in to the parish. So, in the midst of getting to know his parishioners and learning the ropes of being in God's fold, he also has to set up a marriage preparation program for Agat. This involves getting married couples together and developing a parish based counseling system for couples who are looking to get married in the Catholic church. What it came down to is this. He is looking for married couples to help him establish this program.

What's the point of babbling about this? Well, you see, Fr. Jason had a bright idea... He asked me to help as a sponsor. To be a sponsor, you have to be married! I pointed this little known fact(I'm kidding) out to Fr. Jason. He laughed and asked me when I was going to get married. The conversation went on for a little while longer and I took the opportunity to point out the fact that the right man hasn't come along yet. That apparently, God is taking his time with me and keeping that man in hiding. That's when he said the thing that led me to this blog entry. He said... 'Maybe God has shown you the right person or the right path. But, you didn't follow it.'

Damn you, Fr. Jason, for putting me in to a mini crisis! *laugh* No, really. It got me to thinking about things and evaluating the life that I've been living. In the short time after he left and when I got home, I thought a lot about it. What if he was right? What if God has indeed, shown me the way that I need to go and I chose not to see it? Am I too wrapped up in self-pity or doubt, that I can't seem to make out the way through the murk?

Which leads me to another conversation I had with a friend. One in which we spoke about asking God for signs. I find that, in my life, I spend most of the time praying for these signs and just living my life the way that I want to and I get so caught up in it that I miss them. He puts these huge, flashing neon signs in front of me and I'm too busy looking the other way, distracted by the pretty scenes of the world, that I pass the signs by without reading them.

So, what if I've chosen to walk the wrong road? The easier, prettier road that attracts so many people? What if the less scenic route was really what I was supposed to choose? What if it's too late?

But, then again, what if this is exactly where I need to be right at this moment in time?