Neni

Today, instead of going in to morning prayer, I was waylaid by a baby! He was about 8 months old and had the meanest face that I'd ever seen on a child who wasn't throwing a temper tantrum. When he saw me, he just threw himself at me. So, what other choice did I have but to carry the child? Woe to me!

I had the opportunity to play with this child while his mother and grandmother were in prayer and it got me thinking... again! To hold this child. To be able to make him giggle uncontrollably. To smell that scent that babies seem to secrete. It was a little overwhelming. I wanted to keep holding him. But, you know... duty was calling and I had a very important person to phone.

While speaking to James, I mentioned this brief time in which I had with this child. You see, both of us are taken with children. To hear him speak of his nieces and nephew like an adoring(and adorable) uncle, it makes me smile. I'm sure that I've said my fair share about my experiences with the children in my life. I'm sure that anyone who knows me has heard their fill of Jess' obsession with children.

I don't know what it is... Maybe it was in thinking of my godson and the time that I'd spent with him as a newborn. Maybe it's the approaching birthday and the prospect of turning 30. Maybe it's all the people who seem to be popping out children all around me. Maybe it's seeing my parents grow older each year and watching them with the children and grandchildren of friends. I can't sat for sure. But, whatever it is, it makes me want it. It makes me long for the opportunity to love someone so unconditionally as a mother loves her child.

I pray for the day that I can raise a child. To be willing to lay down my life for someone so precious. To be able to watch this child grow in to a man or a woman whom I could love without bounds. To be able to say that I, Jessica Blas, have made an impression on this world as a mother. Not only as a mother... But, as the best mother that I can be.

Getting a little ahead of myself here?