Sunday! Sunday... Sundaaaay!

You ever regret a decision you made and the rescinded it? I did that this weekend. On Saturday, I made the decision to spend some time with old friends rather than going to Eucharist with the communities in Barrigada. Halfway through the movie, I was thinking... I missed Eucharist for this? You see, we went to watch Observe and Report. While it did have a few funny moments and the company was great, I didn't think it was worth missing celebration with my community and the brothers/sisters that I haven't seen since Easter.

But, on Sunday, I was able to attend mass in the parish I was raised in. There's a different priest who is assigned there. But, it was all the same people that I've known since I was a kid(not the goat kind). The choir welcomed me with open arms and smiles, Kev nearly fainted to see me there, the music and atmosphere was the same as I remembered. But, that's not what made me rescind my regret from the night before. What did manage to do it was listening to Fr. Felix's homily on the Divine Mercy. I can't quote exactly what it was without going directly to him and requesting a copy of the homily. But, I can relay the message pretty easily. The part that really got my attention was the message that Jesus delivered to St. Faustina about sinners. He said that a sinner, even in his dying breath, if he were to cry out to Jesus for his mercy, that sinner will not be denied the love of our Father.

You see, this came to me at an important part of my life. Right before mass, I was talking to Andy about feeling unworthy of the love of God. About how I still struggle with knowing my life and the things that I've done and continue doing. How, in my pathetic reality, the man knows me and still loves me. Still sees me as worthy of graces and happiness. Of love. This isn't the only reason though. You see... for those of you that know my history and know me as a sister, you know the struggles that I face today. So, to hear this message and everything else that Fr. Felix said... it made me realize that there was a reason that I found myself in Mangilao at that particular time.

So, while I did miss out on the dancing. the singing, and the echoing, I am glad to have found myself there yesterday. It definitely wasn't the same. I felt that I was missing out on something deeper. But, I heard the message that I was meant to hear. I still miss my sisters. Don't worry. I haven't forgotten about you. I'm on a journey to find Jess. I need your prayers. Thank you. Oh... and yes, I still belong to Barrigada. Much to the dismay of my old Mangilao crew.